Column Piece Part 2 of 5
Faces of Fear
James Saling
W\c 1031
The Five Faces of Fear
We all face everyday.
The reality that fear in many forms is just a part of life. The effects it has differs from person to person. I am exploring a second form of fear in this series which subsequently had the most negative impact in my life of anything.
As early of an age as I can remember I have had the most dreadful terror and fear of heights that I literally cheated myself out of so many experiences because of it.
”Acrophobia” which is a severe fear of heights. This form is with the exception of the fact that it didn't matter whether it was two feet off the ground on a chair , on a 10 foot ladder or 10,000 in the air on a plane.
No matter what it was it ended up causing me severe anxiety attacks and vastly affected my quality of life.
Oddly I don't have a traumatic incident to make mention that would explain the entire cause of my fears.
Looking out a second story window, standing on a chair or even walking up a stairway would trigger me shaking badly and having uncontrollable panic attacks.
A good example was when I was shopping during christmas time with my girlfriend back then and having to hide the issues i had while making excuses as to not wanting to patron the stores any higher than the first floor.
Other things had negative impacts as well like going with friends on a road trip to Las Vegas and upon arriving there I was left without an option but to rent a motel room for myself on the ground floor somewhere.
Again while being very candid of my issues and the embarrassment they caused me i was the man of 1000 excuses.
One after another things like this began to change my quality of life significantly and the lies and excuses I would use were becoming more and more difficult to come up with and remember for that matter.
The last draw was when I was an active pro wrestler and my big shot that I worked 6 years to obtain came and my number was called so to speak.
I was finally going to become the #1 guy and put in line to be promoted to the prime time weekly T.V. show.
The boss approached me and told me the plan and then I got the news that I did not want.The match to make me champion was going to be a ladder match.
A ladder match means that the title belt would be hung 25 feet above the ring and to win you must obtain a 20 foot ladder and ascend to the top and retrieve the belt.
Like clockwork I went right into misdirection excuse mode. After many failed attempts to get the boss to change the outcome so that it would not involve me climbing 20 feet in the air I was shot down at every turn.
The boss wanted the match to stay with the same story and with me winning in way he had disclosed to me that had me getting the belt at the top of the 20 foot ladder and then being pushed off to fall some 25 feet to the floor.
Several days before the event and completely out of options I found myself not even near a height of any kind yet in full panic attack mode. I then went to the main office and while faking a workout injury I was removed from the event .
My big dream and everything I had worked for and I had allowed my phobia to take it all away.
A few months later I was released from the company and a year after that I retired from my boyhood dream of pro wrestling.
The following week after I retired I had finally had enough and I felt it was time I took control of my life and this fear that had all but consumed me.
I planned a “Conquer Conquest” trip for my birthday. My plan was to make this birthday trip full of challenges that would push and force me to face my fear and conquer it to comeback a new man!
I booked myself a top floor suite at a casino in Las Vegas . I purchased tickets to the highest rollercoaster in the United States which is the Stratosphere . One challenge after another like this finishing with my final day of the ultimate fear facing challenge that would pit me at 10,000 feet in the air…..skydiving!
So when I arrived in Las Vegas I really felt ready . I was not gonna back out . No more sorry excuses. No more escape plans . Just me and my fear toe to toe . I was not going home til I beat this for good.
I was completely terrified to be honest but sure enough one by one , one after another I beat each challenge i set in front of myself.
So when that parachute opened on that final challenge and my eyes opened as well I breathed in and it is truly not something i can describe pertaining to the feeling that came over me .
Here i was someone that used to hide from the world so noone would know im paralyzing fear of heights almost literally by the way the view from floating over the earth in the chute feeling like I had truly conquered and was on top of the world !
So though it isn't always the best choice for everyone facing a fear to attack it and face it head on but I am a big advocate for never ruling it out as an option .
Once I had made that decision that my fear was not going to beat me anymore my quality of life and the experiences I didn't have to be left out of were never going to affect me again .
Once I had made that decision that my fear was not going to beat me anymore my quality of life and the experiences I didn't have to be left out of were never going to affect me again .
Please Send your comments and feedback
Be sure to pick up the next issue of the ARCurrent for part #3 of this series called
“The Five Faces of Fear”I
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