Jimmy Ripp
Review of “secrets we keep”
“It's”
Remove “as”
After this sentence start a new paragraph
Too much space
See #3
End sentence and start a new one
See #4
Reword “this is where my uncle lived. He was a very progressive liberal feminist and considered one of Britain's first romantic painters.
Reword “He had taking us in but sadly died 3 years later.”
See #3
See #6
reword “My hostility I used as a shield to protect myself morphed me into someone I didn't recognize.”
See #3
no need to put this as a quote. I think keeping it in your own narration as a statement is much better.
Remove “but it with her” it just seems too confusing.
See #7
See #6
Bet = met
See #4
Confusing that you had a duel but no one was hurt.
Running = ruining
I never like the use of “but” to start a sentence.
Man = male
*1 - I think a bit more of a visual of The Bleak conditions of the environment would be good here I like the navigation around what a woman was life was like during this time. The story rings a bell to me some reason though.
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