T.V. scene (Married w/Children)
By : Jimmy Ripp
Act #1 (Al becomes a YouTuber)
Intro credits and song end . Open to Peg Bundy on the couch in the Bundy house front room. Remote in hand fixated on the television in front of her. Announcement comes on …
Announcer
“ Are you feeling empty ? Does the romance in your marriage seem faded and like a distant memory? Well ladies , learn be these five little secrets to put the spice back in your love life! Dr Ruth tells how to bring spark and sizzle back to the bedroom today on Oprah!”
Peg Bundy
(Peg turns off the television in frustration.)
Dam repeats. not one of those five things help the first time why the heck would I even bother to try them again. I hated spinach the first time I ate it I'm surely not going to try it again. But that would require cooking that other thing that I'm just not going to try again.
(Al Bundy comes thru the door)
Al Bundy
Peggy you won't believe what happened to me in the shoe store today.
Peg Bundy
You got your paycheck and looked at the dollar amount and it said loser?
Al Bundy
No that said balance due kill wife.
(Kelly Bundy comes down stairs)
I was reading in a paper about people getting rich and I got the greatest tip on how.
Kelly Bundy
How Daddy by testing hair growth products?
Al Bundy
Oh God if only I had tested birth control.
(Bud Bundy comes out from basement bedroom)
` I am gonna start my own YouTube channel!
Bud Bundy
YouTube channel I did let me guess. It's going to be called “How To Fail Without Really Trying?
Kelly Bundy
(To Bud) Leave dad alone. Don't you have a date to inflate somewhere?
Bud Bundy
(To Kelly) It's been 20 minutes kell aren't you do back behind the bleachers for the varsity teams turn?
Kelly Bundy
You connect the dots face.
Bud Bundy
Symbol for easy access.
Peg Bundy
Kids stop it not try to show your father some encouragement. I mean he is building the future of your inheritance!
(Unable to keep a straight face begins to laugh with Kelly and Bud)
Al Bundy
Ah go on mock me all you want ! Just like in my will none of you will share in my wealth.
Bud Bundy
Oh no father please! What would become of us if not for the mass treasures and fortune of your high school football memorabilia isn't bestowed to us!
( Kelly and Bud huddle up laughing and belittle Al)
Peg Bundy
Now kids you know we are not relying on him to leave us anything. That is the reason we took his last christmas bonus check to open that huge life insurance policy.
Al , Bud & Kelly Bundy
(At the same time slightly shout)
“What life insurance Peg ?!?!?
(Peg Bundy quickly attempts misdirection as Marcy D'arcy and Jefferson Darci enter the home.)
Peg Bundy
Hey Marci. Thanks for coming by.
Al Bundy
Jeferson ! You can help me . I am going to start my own youtube channel. It is gonna all about coaching young football players to greatness!
Jefferson D'arcy
That is great Al. What great player are you going to have do the lessons? Walter Payton? Marshall Faulk? Lawrence Taylor?
Al Bundy
No you idiot ! I am going to have the most dominant player in Polk High football history! The all city greatest who once scored four touchdowns in a single game! The legend of polk high school football.
( as Al poses to breath in his own greatness)
The great Al Bundy!
The hits will be never ending the views will be uncountable and the sponsorship money will flow in like a river!
Marcy D'arcy
(Hysterically laughing and trying to contain herself Marci chimes in)
Sponsorship money? Views ? The only way you could go viral is if you took your shoes off…….oh wait that would be cause a viral…...INFECTION that is!!!!
Al Bundy
(Angrily staring at the room of doubters)
You will all see. It will be the greatest achievement of my life. My legacy to leave behind. My riches will be immeasurable and no one will forget the name….
(as he stares into the sky in a superhero pose)
Al Bundy!
( Fade to commercial)
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