A stranger awaits

A stranger awaits

By : Jimmy Ripp

     “Even though it beats taking the stairs why does it damn elevator go so slow! Come to think of it why the hell did I take an apartment on the 28th floor! Amy Sheppalla, that's why! DAM,  oh my God I'll never forget that night in Cabo! Even if she did key my car and doesn't speak to me anymore. Talk about overreactions! It was only one Snapchat photo of her flashing for beads for crying out loud. Besides she just got them done I thought she would want to show them off! Oh well . Ugh what a long day. I can't wait to put my feet up on the couch, crack a cold one and watch the game with my favorite person...ME! I mean look at me I have trouble not touching myself. I can't even imagine what women go through on a daily basis. AHH. Home sweet home and…..wait who the hell are you and why are you sitting on my couch in my house?

“I am….”

“Oh wait wait wait wait….i got it. My birthday isn't for 2 weeks but I can see by the long sleek red mini dress, the almond tan pantyhose, the four inch black stiletto heels along with that long wavy red hair that might be natural….(stay tuned for confirmation) not to mention that color everyone knows is my favorite enhancing your luscious pouting lips. It's obvious you are a birthday present from my boys right? Am I right? You're here to treat me like the man I deserve to be treated like for my birthday right? Wait isn't that “Poison” perfume by Victoria's Secret you're wearing? Wow all this Kryptonite wrapped up in one hot babe at my disposal?  This is too much. I really can't accept such a gift but I will anyway. Come here baby!”

“I strongly suggest you review where your hands are and if this is how you want to remember them before losing them forever! Secondly I am no present for your enjoyment however I certainly have something to give you!”

“Well baby don't get all PMS like on me! Just let me have it.”

“Oh I will and this is sent with all the regards from the seven women that you have lured into this apartment and then used with no regret. These six women and one very special young lady  you have hurt this way each so long ago you have probably forgotten altogether want me to leave you with something very special from them! “

--The mystery woman pulls a small 32 Caliber semi-automatic handgun from her purse and unloads 7 bullets into the man's chest. She then writes on a small post it note that says

“from all of us with love!”

She then puts her kiss print of red lipstick on it and posts it on the men's groin area. She proceeds to walk out the door. Goes down the elevator. Out the front door and disappears Into the night.