An original Married with Children episode

T.V. scene (Married w/Children)

By : Jimmy Ripp

  Act #1 (Al becomes a YouTuber)

      Intro credits and song end . Open to Peg Bundy on the couch in the Bundy house front room. Remote in hand fixated on the television in front of her. Announcement comes on …

Announcer

“ Are you feeling empty ? Does the romance in your marriage seem faded and like a distant memory? Well ladies , learn be these five little secrets to put the spice back in your love life! Dr Ruth tells how to bring spark and sizzle back to the bedroom today on Oprah!”

Peg Bundy

(Peg turns off the television in frustration.)

Dam repeats.  not one of those five things help the first time why the heck would I even bother to try them again. I hated spinach the first time I ate it I'm surely not going to try it again. But that would require cooking that other thing that I'm just not going to try again.

(Al Bundy comes thru the door)

Al Bundy

Peggy you won't believe what happened to me in the shoe store today.

Peg Bundy

You got your paycheck and looked at the dollar amount and it said loser?

Al Bundy

No that said balance due kill wife.

(Kelly Bundy comes down stairs)

I was reading in a paper about people getting rich and I got the greatest tip on how.

Kelly Bundy

How Daddy by testing hair growth products?

Al Bundy

Oh God if only I had tested birth control.

(Bud Bundy comes out from basement bedroom)

`                I am gonna start my own YouTube channel!

Bud Bundy

YouTube channel I did let me guess. It's going to be called “How To Fail Without Really Trying?

Kelly Bundy

(To Bud) Leave dad alone. Don't you have a date to inflate somewhere?

Bud Bundy

(To Kelly) It's been 20 minutes kell aren't you do back behind the bleachers for the varsity teams turn?

Kelly Bundy

You connect the dots face.

Bud Bundy

Symbol for easy access.

Peg Bundy

Kids stop it not try to show your father some encouragement. I mean he is building the future of your inheritance!

(Unable to keep a straight face begins to laugh with Kelly and Bud)

Al Bundy

Ah go on mock me all you want ! Just like in my will none of you will share in my wealth.

    Bud Bundy

Oh no father please! What would become of us if not for the mass treasures and fortune      of your high school football memorabilia isn't bestowed to us!

       ( Kelly and Bud huddle up laughing and belittle Al)

                         Peg Bundy

Now kids you know we are not relying on him to leave us anything. That is the reason we took his last christmas bonus check to open that huge life insurance policy.

       Al , Bud & Kelly Bundy

        (At the same time slightly shout)

         “What life insurance Peg ?!?!?

(Peg Bundy quickly attempts misdirection as Marcy D'arcy and Jefferson Darci enter the home.)

Peg Bundy

                Hey Marci. Thanks for coming by.

       
Al Bundy

Jeferson ! You can help me . I am going to start my own youtube channel. It is gonna all about coaching young football players to greatness!

Jefferson D'arcy

That is great Al. What great player are you going to have do the lessons? Walter Payton? Marshall Faulk? Lawrence Taylor?

Al Bundy

                No you idiot ! I am going to have the most dominant player in Polk High football history! The all city greatest who once scored four touchdowns in a single game! The legend of polk high school football.

                    ( as Al poses to breath in his own greatness)

               

                    The great Al Bundy!

            The hits will be never ending the views will be uncountable and the sponsorship money will flow in like a river!

Marcy D'arcy

(Hysterically laughing and trying to contain herself Marci chimes in)

            Sponsorship money? Views ? The only way you could go viral is if you took your shoes off…….oh wait that would be cause a viral…...INFECTION that is!!!!

                        Al Bundy

(Angrily staring at the room of doubters)

You will all see. It will be the greatest achievement of my life. My legacy to leave behind. My riches will be immeasurable and no one will forget the name….

(as he stares into the sky in a superhero pose)

Al Bundy!

                    ( Fade to commercial)

Memory shorts

Jimmy Ripp

First Assignment

An Early Memory

One early memory i can recall was when i was three years old. I was at a bus stop with my sister and when the bus arrived i turned to open my mailbox to get my quarter out. My sister assuming i was right behind her proceeded to get on the bus. The driver closed the door behind her and took off not seeing me sitting there. For the next five blocks most people within a mile radius could hear my sister screaming at the driver “ You left my little brother ! Stop the bus you asterisk.” I remember running and crying and yelling as the bus turned the corner and disappeared. Then a few moments later my sister comes running back around the corner as i sat on the sidewalk crying and thinking i was never gonna see my family again.

2) What freaks me out.

Cats yawning really creeps me out. I have no clue why but they always have. There is no traumatic event in my life that caused this . Just one of those weird things.

3) Tale behind a scar.

I have a 2 ¼ inch scar over my right eye. This is from when i was a bully in high school. Now you must know what type of bully i was. I was a bully to those that i saw picking on special students , gay students , nerdy or otherwise ostracized kids. I stuck up for those who were bullied by bullying those who did that to them. The first time i assumed this role was when I witnessed 2 members of the senior football team with a student cornered whom was rumored to be a member of the gay community. I was a 8th grade 130 lbs freshman. I don't know what made me but before i knew it i was on the back of one the guys with a kokita clutch (Samoan Chokehold) causing him to turn purple and pass out. Then in the same millisecond of time it seemed like this other guy nearly twice my size proceeded to pick up a skateboard and swing it at my head. He did not miss and whether it was adrenaline or simply numberness of being knocked out while still awake and coherent i stood up with blood gushing down the side of head and screamed “YOUR TURN!” It was then that this guy showed his running back skill cause i have never seen anyone run faster. Bystanders told me that when i stood and screamed that i looked so evil that half of them are having nightmares of how my face and the look in my eyes was.

4) Bad haircut

Currently enduring that very thing.

5)

My first day at FLC. After spending two years are ARC and being very miserable . I was very nervous and excited too. The time and treatment and so on i got at ARC would have made anyone quit school so my fear of that happening again here at FLC is already been dismissed by the great interactions i have had with everyone so far.

6)

3 years ago i have a vicious , scary and horrible break up with my X. after 2 and ½ years of abuse both physical and mental along with constant cheating. I had finally discovered that no one deserves to be treated that way. So to put a stop to her abuse . I had her arrested and a restraining order and also moved away because i was informed that she was certainly very violent and in the physiatrist professional opinion very capable of heinous acts including certainly suicidal and definitely homicidal.

7) What i recently lost.

The thing i recently lost was in fact my mind but its ok cause i never really used it all that much anyway so i don't feel any sense of loss or separation from it.

8) Conflicted

When I was bully as i mentioned before. I always went thru this juggle of whether or not i was any better than them . I mean sure they deserved it for what they did to others but i never was comfortable with with the best course of action was when dealing with a bully.

9)

I don't understand why this outcome happened or what possessed me to think and or attempt to overcome my fear of heights by skydiving but that is exactly what i attempted and while the reason might seem a little understandable the outcome had a 1000% opposite result. Not only did i not overcome my fear of heights by skydiving . i developed al new issue that causing me panic attacks if i so much as stand on a simple chair to change a light bulb.

A list of me

Lists for each category

By : Jimmy Ripp

Things I am an expert in :

1)Annoying behavior

2)Pro Wrestling match and character analysis

3)Judge on what cards to push with at what times of a poker tournament

Things I have lost :

1)My storage unit (Which had ten years of photos and other memorabilia of my career in wrestling and entertainment

2)My mind (but never really used that anyway)

3)Quite a few family members including most recently a life long friend to my family passed away from cancer.

Signs that winter has arrived :

1)I cannot sleep without a blanket anymore tells me winter has arrived

2)It finally begins to get cooler as the evening goes on rather than get hotter.

3)People begin to dress less revealing and more bundled.

What's in my body :

1)I actually shudder to think.

2)Way too much coffee

3)Some junk fast food which is not common with me at all and my body is reminding me it's not happy with my lunch choice

Things people have said to me :

1)If it was negative , rude or with harmful intent i would not have remembered cause those words do reach me.

2)I had a professor say that in his 20+ years as a college professor i was to him and i quote “The most unorthodox prolific writer he has ever encountered.”

What to take on the journey :

1)Is there a specific journey to make a list from ?

Things to make a list of :

1)Make a list of things to make a list of is the obvious first choice

2)pros and cons of a relationship or job decision etc.

3)groceries

4)top ten faves whether it be movies music and so on.

Train but never ready

Traineded But Never Ready

By : Jimmy Ripp

CPR courses are always encouraged by everyone for everyone. As an employee of a water park it's part of the hiring process that you are certified in CPR.

The day that one of my biggest fears came to life is one I will always remember. I immediately jumped in the pool where a drowning victim was. I pulled a little child to the flat surface. Without blinking an eyelash as if it were second nature instinctively I begin CPR on the boy who had stopped breathing .After about 25 to 30 seconds which was the longest 25 to 30 seconds of my life that I have ever experienced, the boys spit out water and begin to breathe and slowly sit up. Paramedics arrived and took him to the hospital for tests and observation. 3 days later I am at work and a woman comes up to me with tears in her eyes. She says to me “you are my angel sent from heaven.” It was that little boy’s mother. “You are now forever more part of my family.”  As she stepped aside running toward me full of life this little boy who jumps into my arms and gives me the biggest hug I've ever felt.

I cannot put words together well enough to describe and explain all the emotion that ran through me from that.

Today my new little brother is turning 13 years old. My second mother has informed me and my husband that we are to chaperone him because he is going on his very first date, I said to her “Mom why do you want me to go?” Her response “they are going to dinner and a movie and you will be there that will ensure he doesn't receive any unnecessary CPR!”

The definition of friends

In your words “friends”

By : Jimmy Ripp

    “Friends” . A commodity that is not nearly as valued as it should be. Certainly not performed as often as it perhaps needs to be. It took me a long time to understand the true definition and how to be one. Though I wasn't always a great one to those around me. I'm humbly grateful that over time I learned its true definition and was able to appreciate that joy of being a true friend and having true friends . For it truly is one of the top five things in life to cherish.

When it happens

“When It Happens To You It Becomes A National Tragedy”

By : Jimmy Ripp

       The most trivial of incidents can be blown into an aggrandized fallacy of tumultuous fabricated injustices by someone with entirely over privileged sense of entitlement.

The two children that this babysitter was hired to look after are mirror opposites when it came to their behavior. One was very caring giving and compassionate while the other carried all of the aforementioned traits in his personality.

     So when they got in trouble for eating cookies they weren't supposed to the first boy accepted his punishment apologized and agreed that he was in the wrong. The other began acting in such a manner so overblown that his sibling turned to him and said everybody gets punished but “when it happens to you it becomes a national tragedy.”

       

Trigger lines

Trigger lines

By : Jimmy Ripp

Trigger line #1

   “My mother used to have” such a malicious ambiguous sense of humor and had the insults (out of love) one-liners reminiscent of the late Don Rickles.

     She would always say if she didn't insult you then clearly she did not like you.

Trigger line #2

     He was by all laws of marriage a stepfather. A father he was not though and it was a moniker he was not capable of carrying.

    “What a jerk he always was” when he drank or indulged himself in his drug of choice which was heroin. His own self-loathing and self-destructing anger stemming from his reflection in the mirror is what he projected on others rather than facing his own demons.

     Eventually at the young age of 36 years old is abborance that constantly brewed inside him would  lead him to succumb to a self-inflicted heroin overdose.

      He died and clearly had done enough of that devil drug to ensure death would be imminent. He would no longer have to feel or cause any pain again.  

Trigger line #3

     The year that mother had attempted to gather all my friends secretly for a surprise birthday party she was coordinating for me was when it happened up.

    Until that moment it was very easy to hide my embarrassing issues. The biggest issue was my residence.

     “The house we lived in” had the look, smell, furniture, size,  structure and decoration that screamed out poor drug-infested white trash poverty low life. Nothing of which I am ok with the world thinking.

      With all my friends secretly in route to my house to throw me a surprise birthday party I simply did not know what to do.

       The rumors that will follow will consequently get me ostracized from normality and ensure me a very outcasted existence once this embarrassing issue goes public.

Trigger line #4

    She was standing there waving me to come over and talk to her.

   Chrissy was her name.

   Since puberty hit me a few months ago it made girls become cootie free tolerable acquaintances.

     Chrissy was the end-all-be-all to me. “In this dream that” was constantly incurring I was not shy or introverted. I was very confident and sparing the  details was able to do quite well in courting Chrissy.

     Outside my euphoric slumber I could only mirror that of Stan from South Park when Wendy would approach him.

      There is no mistake about it though. Christy had decided not to wait for my first move anymore and began to confess her feelings for me.

    I could no longer distinguish between this amazing reality and my perpetual euphoric dream-state and quite honestly I did not want to.  

Trigger #5

    “She got out of the car” shouting her proclamation that the search was now over. Over because in that little 1989 Volkswagen, Tara had discovered her vehicular soul mate.

    She promptly took out cash from her pocketbook and paid to obtain ownership. The taravolks duo never parted again.  

Trigger #6

    It has been how she has started her day for the past 25 years of marriage.

    It is so sure as the sun rising and she will never compromise on it for anything.

    So yeah “the first thing she wants in the morning” is a loving passionate good morning kiss from her lifelong loving husband.

The surfer photo

Surfer Photo

By : Jimmy Ripp

     The aggro surfer stand in the sand barefoot on the beach. Feeling the grains of sand  in between his toes as the gravel begins to cover an annoy his feet.

      He stares deeply into the waves. Analyzing them with his glare. He can see their patterns.

       The oceanic smells of salt water and sea life overwhelm his nasal passages. The sun browns his skin to a very dark tone.

        He can taste the sea water still from his prior wipeout that left him in pain that body will never soon forget and his soul is scarred by.

       Fear is long gone though. He is fully committed to conquer the savage waves Mother Nature has put out.

       He almost has to.  Driven by his passion and love of surfing. He cannot allow the wave to conquer him.

I couldn't catch my breath

Couldn't catch my breath

By : Jimmy Ripp

      Standing there feeling so invigorated i am reading every sign that her eyes and body language telling me. It's what my heart has wanted  to hear. “I couldn't catch my breath”. I see her eyes slowly blink and the ora around her glowed with happiness. When she opened up her mouth and out came the words that overflowed my soul with an ebullient exuberance I cannot explain.

“Yes I will marry you!”  It was then that I had become complete.

Confessions of a bouncer fiction

Confessions of a bouncer

By : Jimmy Ripp

    The worst thing you ever have to do as a bouncer is physically remove a customer which can easily turn into a fight or worse. As a bouncer you are naturally prepared for anything regardless. You have to be.

Well nobody can totally be prepared for everything . One night I faced that one customer i couldn't prepare for. The customer was acting extremely inappropriate, clearly inebriated and attempting to not only touch the dancers in their private parts but repeatedly was trying to kiss them as well. When they did not comply the customer would proceed to call them foul names.

One dancer hit her body alarm body alarm. These  are small garage door opener looking devices that can be worn on the hip or kept in their little carry handbags. So when I got the alarm alert I rushed to the private dance room and threw up in the door.  I stood face-to-face with a very dangerous person who didn't want to be removed from the club.I took a right hook to the jaw, a left jab to the nose and an attempted kick to my groin. All of my physical ability and my fighting skills were completely rendered useless. You see this patron was a woman.

I have a very strict “Not unless hell freezes over am I going to harm a woman.” I am literally the spokesperson  against any man ever hitting a woman for any reason. However my job was to protect the dancers. I was stuck I had no idea how to handle it. So with the owner who was a woman assisting me and another employee recording the entire incident for our protection we did get the guest removed eventually the night went on.

To this day that was the single toughest customer I ever had to bounce out.

I just couldn't

Couldn't

By : Jimmy Ripp

    I really couldn't seem to get over my fear of flying and now things to skydiving I never will.

      Any first-time skydivers are always attached to an experienced skydiver. The Experience skydiver is not to permit you to say no I change my mind or back out once you're in the airplane and airborne. They will also trick you.  Sitting there negotiating the reason behind not being able to jump out of that plane. They began a generic countdown. Pretty sure did not go all the way to one.

         We jumped out of the plane. The overwhelming sensation of that factor caused me to pass out unconscious. Mind you I have all this exact times because it's videotaped by another diver 15 seconds later I awaken to notice that the ground is still coming at me at a hundred miles an hour. Passing out again.

      Several seconds after that my eyes open again to see a huge parachute over my head. Yet when my face looks down the ground is clearly still much too far  far away again. passing out yet again. I wanted to overcome my fear of heights by doing this. All I've done is scarred myself psychologically physically and permanently I couldn't seem to get over my fear of heights.

I just didn't

Didn't

By : Jimmy Ripp

    I didn't ever try to be a cartoon hero again.

      It was dark already. My best friend and I were walking down an alley one evening. In certain trouble for being out passed  dark.

     The alley served as shortcut during the day but at  didn't even drive . Creeping from behind the dumpster a man came out. Dressed in all black holding a weapon and demanding our money and valuables been only 9 years-old collectively. We didn't have much of either. This  just angered him made his way flat on the ground. That's when I saw it. I said tonight since BoBoiBoy here's my chance as i open can of spinach.

      Feeling like I sold it down I would get the instant strength similar to Popeye and I will cover this robber fast forward when empties arrived and we're standing over me one tending to an open wound on my right eye and a pile of vomit that would make the Exorcist which would make the Exorcist envy.  I clearly didn't think that one all the way through.

It seems like I just cannot

Cannot

By : Jimmy Ripp

       I cannot get all the versions of me on the same page.

       Walking down my favorite path along the river I've been since I was little I have always worried about myself while walking and enjoying the peacefulness.

        I would have begin to have a lot of strange and usual thought crossed my mind quite often . It  took me awhile to understand the world I live. Since come to embrace that I am not crazy schizophrenic or anything like that just cuz I have voices in my head they talk to me they're all just other versions of me and nothing more so I cannot ignore them.

Bad travel experience fiction

Bumper Sticker #1

“...it happens when what ?”

By : Jimmy Ripp

Driver's licenses are given out way to freely. I mean look at this guy parking job. Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't you supposed to fit your vehicle between the lines of a parking space. It isn't like he parked the Bentley he was driving here and doesn't want anybody parking next to him. This is a Volkswagen Bus. Identical look to one that was in early 80s model this almost like Jeff Spicoli's car in the 1980s movie “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”. It has the smell of burnt THC on top of that like Jeff spicoli's car did too. Oh and look at this bumper sticker on the back, “s*** happens when you play naked twister!”  What the hell does that even mean? The driver side door is open with the keys in the door. He must have not realized he didn't take his keys with him. This is classic! He has fake sheepskin seat covers and a skull handle for the gear shift. This owner must have hit a time warp between 1970 and 1980 and got stuck there. This bus has it all ! Shaggy carpet throughout the entire floor of the vehicle. Here is proof that he stuck in a time warp. There is two copies of Playboy magazine. May 1980 and June of 1982. Next to them here is the actual current issue of Woman's Journal! The one with Donald Trump on the front being strangled by the Statue of Liberty. There's a guy coming this way. It has to be the owner. He looks like a walking bake sale. He's got a hash oil walk. Heel-to-toe heel-to-toe, long hair hippie M.O. and I'm guessing he's going to be pretty upset that I'm in his car.

“ACTUALLY I AM !” the voice coming from behind him shouted nearly making him jump out of his shoes.

He turns around the face the one whose property has been pilfering and sees a man who is very clean-cut in his appearance. Wearing what is clearly a tailored suit in the “You can't afford it price range.

After a few exchanges of words and several apologies by the man it is discovered that the vehicle owner is the son of a Hollywood movie producer whose resume includes the movie “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” . So I guess judging a book by the vehicle is transported in his never good policy.

As for the bumper sticker……. the author of it was quoted as saying this

“if you're playing naked twister with someone then it is clearly someone you want to be naked playing twister with and the only kind of s*** that can happen to you is good s*** so if you live your life by the motto s*** happens when you play naked twister you will only allow good s*** to happen to you.”

G3 in the bumper sticker part 2 at writing assignment

Bumper Sticker #1

“...it happens when what ?”

By : Jimmy Ripp

Driver's licenses are given out way to freely. I mean look at this guy parking job. Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't you supposed to fit your vehicle between the lines of a parking space. It isn't like he parked the Bentley he was driving here and doesn't want anybody parking next to him. This is a Volkswagen Bus. Identical look to one that was in early 80s model this almost like Jeff Spicoli's car in the 1980s movie “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”. It has the smell of burnt THC on top of that like Jeff spicoli's car did too. Oh and look at this bumper sticker on the back, “s*** happens when you play naked twister!”  What the hell does that even mean? The driver side door is open with the keys in the door. He must have not realized he didn't take his keys with him. This is classic! He has fake sheepskin seat covers and a skull handle for the gear shift. This owner must have hit a time warp between 1970 and 1980 and got stuck there. This bus has it all ! Shaggy carpet throughout the entire floor of the vehicle. Here is proof that he stuck in a time warp. There is two copies of Playboy magazine. May 1980 and June of 1982. Next to them here is the actual current issue of Woman's Journal! The one with Donald Trump on the front being strangled by the Statue of Liberty. There's a guy coming this way. It has to be the owner. He looks like a walking bake sale. He's got a hash oil walk. Heel-to-toe heel-to-toe, long hair hippie M.O. and I'm guessing he's going to be pretty upset that I'm in his car.

“ACTUALLY I AM !” the voice coming from behind him shouted nearly making him jump out of his shoes.

He turns around the face the one whose property has been pilfering and sees a man who is very clean-cut in his appearance. Wearing what is clearly a tailored suit in the “You can't afford it price range.

After a few exchanges of words and several apologies by the man it is discovered that the vehicle owner is the son of a Hollywood movie producer whose resume includes the movie “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” . So I guess judging a book by the vehicle is transported in his never good policy.

As for the bumper sticker……. the author of it was quoted as saying this

“if you're playing naked twister with someone then it is clearly someone you want to be naked playing twister with and the only kind of s*** that can happen to you is good s*** so if you live your life by the motto s*** happens when you play naked twister you will only allow good s*** to happen to you.”

G3 and the bumper sticker a writing assignment

Bumper sticker #2

By : Jimmy Ripp

“ I tell you what doesn't make sense. Driving around in that bus. That stupid bumper sticker. That smell of marijuana coming out of it. He has to know what people think when they look at him. Seriously the guy has the fancy suit and so on. It’s a giveaway that he's got money and wealth. Why letting what people are thinking…….just some dumb hippie pothead. No doubt I'm not the only one who think so, just the only one that'll say it. You would think he would have more class and have a nicer car and so on”

You choose the path

Garbage & Closet Search

By Jimmy Ripp

     You walk into a very cluttered bedroom. Facing the unmade bed in the center. It is not even fitted with a sheet. Simply covered with a ratty and torn comforter. There are clothes all over the floor. Clearly all have been worn and are dirty. There's a slight foul odor of what is surely from a pair of dirty socks.

On the left you see a closet with no doors on it. There are very few articles of clothing hanging in the closet, On the closet floor there is a unorganized pile of several shoes with one match missing. The top shelf you can see a box with the word “PRIVATE” written on the side of it.

To the the right you see a desk which is merely a multi-purpose four-legged table being used as one. There is a Cheesy old fake antique lamp on the table with a cigarette smoke stained lampshade covering it. The window behind the desk is covered by a pinned up bath towel. Underneath the desk is he small wastebasket filled to the top with papers and debris.

Do you A) Go to the closet and open the private box and investigate. B) Go to the desk and search through the wastebasket. C)-leave immediately and never returnl.

You go to closet and grab the private box and begin to search it. Inside you find photographs of the same man at different locations. Oddly there is no one else in the pictures but him. These pictures are taken from an old 35-millimeter camera rather than a cell phone camera and they were processed by photomat which dates them as old as late 1980’s. After going thru all the pictures you find nothing too unusal. It does seem a little strange to you that this person will keep that many photos of themselves with no loved ones appearing in them. Perhaps he has some sort of OCD. The box also  has some old letters correspondence with what appear to be death row inmates of a prison. You keep the letters to read later in hopes they will provide you clues into this man’s mind. There is nothing else seemingly useful to you in the box.

The wastebasket is filled to the top with papers and debris including a half eaten banana peel. As you begin to look at some of the papers. They all seem to have the same thing on them. “To Do” lists with nothing written on them except the cirlced numbers 1-20 but no tasks. There are dozens and dozens of these all crumpled up and thrown away. So far that is all that's on any of them. This man is becoming more and more strange to you.

The end ( you left what would you think option C would be) !

3 + 3 a writing assignment

Jimmy Ripp

English 400

Page 97 - 4.1

1)Jonasia is a twelve-year-old scholar who wants to go to school with kids his own age.  When asked if he had a girlfriend he just giggled and blushed at the question. He was also asked what his favorite vegetable was and he winced and said none of the above as he made a gag motion towards his mouth. One reporter shouted an obscenity at the Young genius at which time security asked the reporter to leave and go quietly.

2) Michael is a 24 year old male is a chauvinistic hypocrite who wants women to be house dwelling male servants. Needless to say he is a lonely guy. He giggles at the thought of women being equals. His views on women today make him wince at the idea of equal pay and equality in general. He shouted out on social media as well as in public that he believes women are inferior. Michael also feels like a gag order should be proclaimed on the those who speak in favor of women and says whenever he is kicked out of a place for speaking his mind he will not go quietly

3)Michaela is a 30 year old woman who wants women all over the world to be empowered as they should feel. When a reporter told Michaela she is truly the embodiment of today's woman she giggled and said “thank you!”  Modest as can be she can only wince at the idea of being a leader as she has been quoted as saying “don't stand in front of me I will not follow don't stand behind me I will not lead you but if you stand beside me I will walk through hell and back with you!”  When a social media site tried to put a gag order on her she only shouted louder from the mountaintops and surely would not go quietly under any circumstance

4)Donald Trump is a six-year-old kid in an adult body who wants to start World War III he Giggles like a baby and acts like a teenage pervert that causes women to wince and gag in his presence he stood in a crowd when a woman shouted on National Television hate Trump you're a dick leave it to him to not go quietly as he responded with a remark that you just don't want to hear and we'll leave it at that

5)Oprah Winfrey is a 64 year old African American woman who wants to be remembered not for what you did for black women but for what she did for all women's rights and fight for equality whenever asked about Stedman she just giggled like a teenage girl in love. She will wince at the thought of any free speech being gag or stifled Shout It Out Loud till they hear you if it's what you believe in she says when it's time to go don't ever go quietly

6)Arnold Schwarzenegger is a 71 year old Austrian  born American wants to be permitted to run for president of the United States. A man that would giggle because most would wince at his acting and gag on his Planet Hollywood restaurant food. You can count on him shouting “GET DOWN!” in every film he's in. With a voice  in like is he simply not capable of going quietly in any setting as he will stand out in the crowd when he speaks.

Campus View part 2

Campus View part 2

Buy Jimmy Ripp

     I'm standing here at what I call the student food court.

     When you close your eyes while standing in the middle you can hear what the TV captions call indistinct chatter. The scent of food cooking invade your nasal passages and activates your taste buds. Alerting you that its desired to eat can and will overthrow your need to.

      This is a social setting where interactions are expected. However I notice a continuity from table to table and chair to chair. All the occupants have laptops out, phones in hand and books open. Either reading from them or writing from them.

     The vast majority of students in here are working and diligently doing so. They are driven and seemingly undeterred. So there I was watching all this go on and I thought to myself “what am I doing standing here twiddling my thumbs and looking dumb for? Get to work!”

Campus View part 1

Observe the dream that wasn't .

By Jimmy Ripp

     So there I am standing behind home plate of the Folsom Lake College Falcons baseball field. While there is no one occupying it at the moment. I can hear cheers and sounds of a full stadium of people

      Reminding me of a Time when I was a prospective ball player to be drafted into a college right out of high school. However becoming a father at age 17 and becoming a husband at age 18 that dream was derailed.

      Now I sit here at this field staring on to this diamond and I think of what future stars might racist field and shine on the stage. I can't help myself but think about what could have been for me. As a tear comes down my face I'll never regret or wish I could change becoming a father.

      I batted 1000% with two for two great kids who are my life and my everything. Nevertheless I can't help but wonder what my average would have been had I made it to the big time. I still love the game of baseball and this field brings back happy and sad memories for me. Somewhat of a bitter sweet view from the bleachers.

What I remember most about that old house

That old House

By : Jimmy Ripp

     Awe yes , that old house. The first one mom bought upon moving to the Bay Area in California. Of all the fondest memories I have feom that time in my life the one I can remember best is that great house and all the hiding places it had.

     I used to have a girlfriend named Penny. She lived across the street. Penny was in the seventh grade and was 4 years older than me. I would always sneak her into my house through the garage and from there it was a stealth move quick up the stairway into the hallway closet after Mom had gone to bed downstairs in the master bedroom #1.

      The upstairs hallway closet was not above anything and it was a perfect fit for her and I to lay down together side by side. We would hide in there for hours on hours until the early morning usually about 4 or 5 a.m. Penny would then sneak back home.

     I was only 10 mind you and she was 14 but we did make out a lot and that was usually the extent of it. I mean let's face it we were just dumb little kids so we didn't know what we were doing anyway.       

    Still to this day I have many memories that are near and dear to my heart during that time of guilty innocence.

       As for my girlfriend Penny. Believe it or not to this day we are still a very good friends. We talk now and then through Facebook or SnapChat.

G3 character details

Character details

By : Jimmy Ripp

       Foster Graham III is a 6ft tall 210 lb very fit, highly egocentric and extremely entitled trust fund owner who lives on the 27th floor of the Vista View Flats right off of Park Avenue. With a decent side view of Central Park that will run you about $50,000 a month in rent if you cannot afford to pay the 18 million dollars to buy it.

      Mr. Graham , or is he wants to be known as G3,  has the bank role of a king , the body of a Greek god, the look of a GQ model and an attitude with conceit and swag that would normally be respected.       

        However to truly understand what he's like would be to cross a hyena with a vulture as an analogy. He loves only himself and rarely feels any real human emotions or compassion. Although he does have an odd need to be revered. He wants to rule the world.

         If you could touch his personality it would have the texture of a $2 steak. That's what its surface would feel like. G-III seriously comes off as the kind of guy who loves the smell of his own flatulation.

      A definite taste for the finer things in life. He has been  known to blatantly laugh out loud at anything or anyone he feels is beneath him. The irony of his “tastes” is that he will leave the taste of vomit in your mouth as he passes by you. Smelling up far too much aftershave and cologne.

     Yet still woman after woman falls prey to him cuz of the lifestyle and financial freedom that he represents. They seem to hope to obtain this through him.

     So is he the bad guy? Or are the victimized women here dumb for getting used knowing that he has the reputation, history and track record of being a horrible womanizer and terrible regarding relationships altogether.

My conscience remains

My Conscience Remains

Prof. Danner ENGCW400

By :James “Jimmy Ripp” Saling

My Conscience Remains

                     My name is Fostor Thomas. I ain't a famous guy. I wasn't president in the United States. I never cured any diseases or nothing like that.  Just simply a Jiffy Lube employee who took a nap on his lunch and woke up to being the last human being on the planet. The great news of the world going to hell in a handbasket was openly disclosed to me by a voice narrating the play-by-play on an old tape recorder left by my side saying play me.

     I just can't seem to  be able to adjust to what I am seeing. What actually happened that an entire race of human beings disappeared in the snap of the fingers. This isn't like the Avengers where the vilian Banos has the infinity stones and is capable of that kind of power. Empty planet, empty cities, empty streets.

      According to the person on the tape recorder it it was us as humans that did it to ourselves and we didn't even get dinner before we got screwed.  

       For quite some time I did not play the tape. I feared it would cause my own Alice in Wonderland scenario. When I finally mustered up the courage to play the tape not knowing what was on it I got the gist of the story and still remained horribly freaked me out to my core. I don't know how  I am supposed to act or feel. There are no more doctors in case I get sick. There is no wife if I want companionship. No mother if I want a home cook meal. No president Trump. The

My Conscience Remains

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taped message narrator stated that I and I alone was responsible for leaving a legacy of the human race.

          Completely baffled still as to how the tape recorder was placed by my side before I became the only remaining person in existence or HOW THE HELL AND WHY I WAS SPARED ANYWAY! The narrator said I must give my best rendition of the history of the human race otherwise they'll be no trace of our existence at all.  The voice also said derogatory things such as he wasn't sure if my education level would be able to demonstrate verbally the advancements the human race made in both medicine technology and the other great things that the human race was responsible for. So that any new evolution of existence can bask in the luxury of knowing our great achievements. Any life form would be lucky to discover and benefit from our great wisdom and inventions and so on .

          I'm beginning to think, thinking about what the narrator said about how great we were and how lucky any existence would be that would come after us and  if they could benefit from our greatness. Our educational system, our technology and everything that we as a human race developed. Which invoked me to think some more. See the way I remember it we never liked our own government, but never did s*** about it. We hate ourselves and blamed each other for our own self loathing. We would kill each other over passion, drugs, gang colors, religion and a million  other stupid reasons. We overindulged. We were self-absorbed,self-righteous,

My Conscience Remains

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complacent and yet never happy with our environment. With no regard  ruined our planet. As an act of malice neglected our war veterans, exploited ourselves and disappointed our children. Always put down and stepped on each other always for our own personal gain. When all facts are considered  in everything it sometimes can leave very little to be proud of. Consequently having evidence of all those things does potentially make a strain on the blanket of our society’s shortcummings.

      I would  be ashamed of having my existence be remembered for murder, hate, war and crime. Unfortunately I am unable to sit here and lie and tell you how great everything was and how wonderful we were and how intelligent and advanced we were is a species.

       I imagine whomever does  discover this has to be some form of intelligent life otherwise you would not understand any of this. so to you the intelligent life form to discovery of this I am here to tell you. I'm not here to eat the apple, to die on the cross for your sins. However for some reason still unbeknownst to me I was chosen to be left behind to tale the history of the human race and all the great examples that should be followed.  

Were there great things achieved ? Absolutely ! Was there a lot of bad that went with good? No question. I am and always have been a person of honesty and integrity. So delivering a stretched truth or exaggerated examples of the human race is not something i am willing to do. When I die as we all do or did I should say , I know existence come along and finds this recording hears it and even understands it. The best thing I can tell you about the human history is this don't follow our lead ! Fight the urge! Make things up as you go along. We achieved all we did and we

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screwed it up over and over again at the same time. I can think of a great cliche that comes to mind …...”We only have the ability to appreciate things when we have lost them and only when we lost them do we cherish their true value!”  

When you were able to consistently decipher the word “art form” then you will know what to take from the human race and adopt as your own. Beyond that don't copy anything from us. We would probably only decrease and discount anything you may hold valuable!

Good luck and Godspeed.

Review of speech by Warren Bow

“Guns for Teachers”

By : Warren J. Bow

Essay by : Jimmy Ripp

      The “speech to a crowd” feel to the story “Guns for Teachers” by : Warren J. Bowe is a short that is taking both irony and sarcasm in the written form and making them truly an art form.

    With ironic declarations of what a guns for teachers program could do for the economy Bowe begins the sarcastic rant exploiting the true ridiculous of the concept his feelings on it are. Bowe continues with the idea of how mom and pop small gun shop business owners stand to benefit from the boom in firearms  sales. Even going to eccentric measures that it when sounded like a too good to be true sure fire outcome was possible it should not be questioned.

      In the meanwhile it has maintained safe and comfortably the crystal ball to foresee it's a cross to bear.

        “Guns for Teachers”  pushes all the right buttons to shine like on the belief of the level of stupidity  that G3 Bowe views on this whole ordeal is with their sarcastic questions of pay raises to teachers who could be cracked shots as well as what they're can be in the way of a budget for ammunition to keep low the out-of-pocket cost to teachers to the ironic clear assumptions as a reader you'll definitely see , those in favor of the idea guns for teachers themselves become obliviouss to the satire taking place and the method the author is using to discredit those for that idea as well as humiliate them in the process.

    The serious delivery in which the speaker is reciting the speech while clearly defined as someone against guns all together & even more adds to the easy depiction of seeing an audience of people breaking into small giggles to out right LOL’s . A lawyer but atory has a smart and definitive way of not only showing the humor and sarcasm and irony but it does through the speaker in the story make it clear cut difference between the two and how powerfully useful in all communication the purposes they serve.

Review of Annie Dillard

“Heaven on Earth and Earth in Jest”

By : Annie Dillard

Essay by : Jimmy Ripp

       Annie Dillard author of “Heaven and Earth  in Jest” depicts a meaningful and significant event bearing witness to real life nature at work, her connection to it and subsequent effect that it has on the stories character/narrator. Unlike the author Warren Bowe's work “Guns for Teachers” displayed in ironic / sarcastic rant with a potential mass impact. This topic displays an event that carried only a personal impact.  

       While both have an “impactful” motif in a sense that is where the similarities end.Dillard’s character gives the feeling that her words are spoken from the soul and heart rather than from a bias opinion of the mind as Bowe's narrator does.

       Dillard allows the entrance into the characters inner being and makes an easily overlooked happening at an unappreciated location far more significant and relevant. The character does so in a poetic fashion and conveys every emotion from within. Bowe's narrator is truly speaking to appeal to the masses.  

        Dillard's character is only speaking to appeal to herself and her soul. Only permitting the reader the permission to listen in.

       Bowe's story title takes a simple clear direct approach to the  subject matter and content.

       Dillard's “Heaven and Earth in Jest” doesn't reflect what exactly the story's content is or will be. It is apparent that it is holding a much deeper meaning to the event in which the content is about.

       So comparing the pieces as opposites is clear way to see how far different directions writers can go. The sarcasm and irony in a cynical manner or a deeper plain a with an in-depth spiritual and personal affect the story being conveyed has. Both are directly meant to have lasting effect.

The setting of three songs

Jimmy Ripp

Prof. Danner

3 song settings

1967- “Ain't No Mountain” by : Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell

    Marisol looks forward to her workouts. Committed to staying fit and healthy she is in the gym 4 days a week. As she comes out of the locker room dressed in her favorite workout gear consisting of nothing that says fashion whatsoever she doesn't worry of the social burden placed on appearances. Marisol is only seeking to impress herself. She never has let herself down when it comes to her workouts goals.

     Her beat up grey sweatpants compliment her breast cancer awareness T-shirt with the sleeves cut off. Strapped to her left bicep is her phone which has the top 100 hits for her workout sessions.

   Setting up auto start on her workout playlist her stretching and loosening up routine begins. After a few good solid minutes of this she jumps on the stationary bicycle and begins to slowly pedal.

    “Ain't No Mountain High Enough”  begins to ring in her ear buds. As the song progresses, the speed of her pedaling increases and increases.

    Ever since she can remember this is always been her favorite song to warm up to. Getting inspired by lyrics and listening to it always gets her adrenaline pumping.

2011- “Diet , Crime & Deliquincey” by: Personal & The Pizzas”

    

      The Rolling Stone magazine reporter Jonanas Burger sits in the taxi as it pulled over reaching the address he requested. Hesitantly he pays the driver and exits the cab.

      He looks around at the blight that has taking place over the decades. The decay that this rural town in England has suffered is both sad and somewhat frightening.

     “The spit spot” is the name of what Jonasan would forever more refer to the club he can only describe as the devil's outhouse.

       As he enters inside the walls are all painted black with neon unreadable graffiti everywhere.

       There's a stale smell of urine that echoes In his nostrils coming from God knows what direction. He passes by the bouncer who appears to be a nodding off from clearly indulging into an unknown substance too much.  

     In to the main club area, on a stage that was clearly designed by architects who did the houses for The Three Little Pigs, stood the band that he was there to see.

     They were in mid-set and in the midst of their number one hit throughout the underground of Europe called “Diet, Crime and Delinquency”

     He quickly began to take notes in the hope that the sooner he completed his task the quicker he could leave. Overwhelmingly he had convinced himself that this had to be the last place you would want to go if you wanted to continue living a healthy life.

     As the band played and the dance floor, albeit the size of a small closet, was filled with devoted fans mimicking their best impersonation of a mosh pit.

      This was clearly a cult punk rock band and only they had quite a cult following.

The character in the chair

Jimmy Ripp

Engcw

Prof. Danner

Character in the chair

      That old raggedy grey recliner on the porch of the victorian style house.  Everyday without fail that's where old man Guthry would sit. Everyday for years and years many would pass by his house . On the way to work or school, in  cars or.on foot. Countless have passed by him most likely never even knowing how name.

      He always wore a plain white t-shirt . A little musty and stained from ashes that spilled out the tobacco pipe he would puff on. He would always have the same khaki colored pants and suspenders on worth sandals but no socks. Grey haired but mostly balding and a.five o'clock shadow as if he was due for a shave.  

      He didn't speak much but always waved back to anyone who waved at him. Never would see much traffic come or go from his house . So it was clear he didn't have much family and if he did they sure didn't visit often.

      He was in his late 80’s no doubt and probably has seen it all. The stories he must have to tell. Even just from what he has seen from that old recliner on his Victorian style house porch and oh how if that chair could speak as well.

A bartender's life poetry

That lonely bar after hours

By :  Jimmy Ripp

Sometimes I hate that feeling in this bar after hours

It makes me want to rush home just to jump in the shower

The last beer is dumped and the final shot of whiskey is gulped down

Like a fish breathing water it mimics this sound

The last person is gone in a metaphorical and literal sense

As i squeezed out my bar towel  and soak it with a good rinse

The music once echoed like off of a canyon of walls.

The bouncer removed a couple during doing dirt in the stalls.

I'm surrounded by drench soaked counters and floors.

But I guess it's better than a room full of drunks and loose whores.

The mess created as if Mother Nature had unleashed her fury.

Damn a credit card I forgot to close that tab in a hurry

I estimate my work will have me here past 3 a.m.

I tell the rest to go since I have no choice I'm staying

It's what I'm accustomed to it's just like my life story

However these empty bars ain't much different than empty beds when you're lonely.

The art of my heart at work

Jimmy Ripp

Engcw410

Prof. Danner

“The art of my heart work my Mona Lisa”

     Intrigued. Yet so diligently searching for the suited origin’s definition of the never ending question that Aristotle himself could not resist even upon his last breath. “WHY!?”  

      Why this woman in the painting has grabbed my inner being and pulled on me so forcefully like a feeling of an inner tug-of-war that I cannot lose or win.

      Why this woman of extraordinary basicness and with a continuity of a monotonous, discrete, subtle, suggestive and silent string of words and gestures that her portrait is in constant release of. Like a million guilty prisoners being pardoned at the same time and set free!

     Why this woman with no facial decor by color, eccentricity in the hairstyle, cleavage or even suggestive skin showing to induce a flood of mouth-watering desire.

     Why this woman in the painting being turned into an immortal portrait shows only resolve. No lines in her complexion as badge like scars of a life as a woman in this era.  She is seemingly without worry. Aside from her need to hold that pose while the magic of the artist's paintbrush displaying and revealing what even he himself didn't know he wanted portrayed in the picture.

    Why? Why?  As I stand here in this cold empty art gallery of white walls and ceilings and gray solid marble floor with a 2-foot Velvet Rope barricaded in front of me and the only living breathing miracle besides myself is hanging on the wall before my eyes.  

     Why Mona Lisa? Why can I love you so deeply living in a time centuries long past the completion of your portrait and the release of that pose you seemingly held for an eternity? How can I love you? Do you know I love you? Can you know?

G3 antidote

Jimmy Ripp

Anecdote

The following Monday after the Foster Graham tragedy at the law firm of which he was vice president and active partner of.

(Thomas runs into the executive lounge where several of the staff were smoking cigars and drinking snifters of Brandy and exclaims)

“ Oh my God guys did you hear about Foster he was partying all night for his birthday at the Club C-O and ended up going back to his apartment with seven women and I hear they all killed him and robbed him!”

(Patrick, who is one of the higher up attorneys the firms totem pole, intercedes and says)

No,no, no! That is inaccurate. It is called Club C.E.O. Thomas something you wouldn't ever spell anyway and it wasn't his birthday although he was at his apartment but it was with a woman whose husband it followed them there and killed them both In cold blood out of jealousy.

(New acting vice president and soon-to-be partner of the law firm Katrina Vasquez enters the executive lounge and says)

‘Everyone I have an announcement  Something tragic has happened to our vice president Foster Graham.  He was shot 7 times in the chest in his apartment and died instantly last Friday night. While there was no robbery,clear motive or even a break in evident, police are asking anyone with any info to contact Detective Briscoe at 555-1365. Those of you who are friends or Foster can contact his next of kin for any funeral arrangements by speaking to his uncle Ricky or step aunt Anne at 555-1315 a counselor is on staff today for anybody needing someone to talk to regarding this tragedy. It's a sad thing and hopefully the police will find the man responsible.

(As Katrina leaves Patrick asks)

Excuse me Mrs. Vasquez but is that Poison by Victoria's Secret you're wearing?”

G3 characterization

Jimmy Ripp

Characterization  

     The event had it's front lined with paparazzi and media wanting to cover this event making sure they got the best shots of New York’s elite walking up the red carpet.

      He stepped one foot out of the limo and the $5,000 alligator skin shoes set the tone along with a completely taylormade ensemble from head to toe that scream prestige.  The perfect crease black slacks and a raspberry sorbet button-up priest color shirt with $1,000 diamond and platinum cufflinks and the equally blinging Rolex watch to match. Along with the black sport coat fitted as if he was born with it on. Then add in the the perfectly styled faded hair that look to be painted on but was soft to the touch, a bronze tan and perfectly groomed facial hair. Foster Graham III once again causes photographers to fight over the best shot of him.

     A big-time attorney, vice president and partner of a  law firm with a royalty bank account and movie star good looks Mr Graham does know how to make an entrance.

-As Foster thinks to himself-

     “It is hard goddamn work looking this good but damn it I pull it off easy. I mean seriously I have trouble not touching myself. I don't know why I agree to come to these events. I guess it doesn't hurt to give the women of Manhattan a thrill once in awhile l. I ain't donating a goddamn penny this time so they can kiss my ass if they think I'm coming out of pocket. If one woman wants to test drive the G3 she better have a friend to join or a twin sister cuz I'm sick of these boring Manhattan debutantes. They do nothing for me anymore. Well, Paparazzi get your cameras ready for the G3 experience!

-A few days later in the New Yorker magazine this article came out.

The Poorest Excuse for What

     At the benefit last week the red carpet was laid out for New York's Elite.  In a “I'm richer than you!” get together the poster child for the over privileged and undeserving was in attendance.

    Foster Graham the 3rd. With the high school maturity level nickname G3, Graham is an overpriced Manhattan attorney who recently became vice president and partner in a prestigious New York law firm.

     Dressed to the nines with a tailor fit that shouted from here to the Catskill Mountains “I think I'm better than you and I have everything to prove it” . This wealthy, overindulged bachelor who has been the face of every tabloid ever since a date rape allegation in college surfaced about him. He truly epitomizes what wealthy white privilege and a product of being born with a platinum spoon in your mouth can produce. His egocentric attitude is  ever-present and yet still remains the scourge of Manhattan on the single scene. Every woman is hoping to land this prize pool of a bachelor and encounter what many have learned before. G3 is never going to be one for matrimony. Thou he may have a few hours to kill as he womanizes each victim one after another.

      A true symbol for what for over-privileged and undeserving and most certainly unappreciative. He does not respect how lucky he is to have the life he does. Someday his luck could run out. Everyone rolls a 7 at the crap table eventually.

Negative traits

Jimmy Ripp

Engcw400

Prof. Danner

        Foster Graham III . A narcissistic chauvinist. Mr Graham does not work for he is the holder of a very large trust fund and the heir to his father's Throne of a multi-billion-dollar company.

    He doesn't like small talk nor does he like answering text messages or Instagrams. If it not be for reminders from Facebook he wouldn't remember people's birthdays either.

    You won't find him dressed in anything that is not tailor-made and rides in a limo everywhere because he doesn't feel he should walk amongst the peasants.

    To avoid sounding like your average person G3 as he likes to be called speaks with a fake accent. While he Fancy's only expensive wine this man doesn't leave gratuity at restaurants.

    Very superficial and yet thinks he's very deep. Unfortunately every single person around him kisses his ass. Believing he is the end-all-be-all and acts as though he is.

    He doesn't like to get his hands dirty. Unable to stand the idea of sweating and does not like people who do perspire.

    Not one who celebrates holidays except for his own birthday which he thinks should be a national, no a worldwide holiday.

   While Mr Graham has all the normal characteristics of a human being he lacks any traits suggesting he is a decent one.

He cannot hear you

Unspoken goodbye

By Jimmy Ripp

Tabitha could feel the eyes of her beloved staring at her. Inside she was screaming joyful thoughts of an eternity spent with him. Her heart could express a million ways that she loved him, The words just would not come out.

His beautiful expressions of the way he loved her echoed through her ears into her soul. Jonathan sat beside her staring at her lovingly.

He held her hand as he recited the words he had written to tell her everything that was in his heart. Just in the hopes she understood every word.

“I do I do!” she said “I love you too!” Tabitha shouted from her heart.

He smiled and kissed her hand as the tears fell down his cheeks.

“Goodbye Tabitha.” he said to her as he walked away uncontrollably sobbing.

“Wait!” Tabitha exclaimed “Please don't go please I love you the same if not more!”

Jonathan could not hear her declarations of her love for him for Tabitha was not awake. Tabitha’s fight with a demon she could not overcome was over as she lay dormant in a coma from a drug overdose. Though she had now seen error of her ways, it was an epiphany that came too late for Tabitha. The doctor and nurse came into the room and removed her life support after a few heartbeats from the monitor then the line went flat and Tabitha was gone.

A stranger awaits

A stranger awaits

By : Jimmy Ripp

     “Even though it beats taking the stairs why does it damn elevator go so slow! Come to think of it why the hell did I take an apartment on the 28th floor! Amy Sheppalla, that's why! DAM,  oh my God I'll never forget that night in Cabo! Even if she did key my car and doesn't speak to me anymore. Talk about overreactions! It was only one Snapchat photo of her flashing for beads for crying out loud. Besides she just got them done I thought she would want to show them off! Oh well . Ugh what a long day. I can't wait to put my feet up on the couch, crack a cold one and watch the game with my favorite person...ME! I mean look at me I have trouble not touching myself. I can't even imagine what women go through on a daily basis. AHH. Home sweet home and…..wait who the hell are you and why are you sitting on my couch in my house?

“I am….”

“Oh wait wait wait wait….i got it. My birthday isn't for 2 weeks but I can see by the long sleek red mini dress, the almond tan pantyhose, the four inch black stiletto heels along with that long wavy red hair that might be natural….(stay tuned for confirmation) not to mention that color everyone knows is my favorite enhancing your luscious pouting lips. It's obvious you are a birthday present from my boys right? Am I right? You're here to treat me like the man I deserve to be treated like for my birthday right? Wait isn't that “Poison” perfume by Victoria's Secret you're wearing? Wow all this Kryptonite wrapped up in one hot babe at my disposal?  This is too much. I really can't accept such a gift but I will anyway. Come here baby!”

“I strongly suggest you review where your hands are and if this is how you want to remember them before losing them forever! Secondly I am no present for your enjoyment however I certainly have something to give you!”

“Well baby don't get all PMS like on me! Just let me have it.”

“Oh I will and this is sent with all the regards from the seven women that you have lured into this apartment and then used with no regret. These six women and one very special young lady  you have hurt this way each so long ago you have probably forgotten altogether want me to leave you with something very special from them! “

--The mystery woman pulls a small 32 Caliber semi-automatic handgun from her purse and unloads 7 bullets into the man's chest. She then writes on a small post it note that says

“from all of us with love!”

She then puts her kiss print of red lipstick on it and posts it on the men's groin area. She proceeds to walk out the door. Goes down the elevator. Out the front door and disappears Into the night.

Impossible world headlines

The possible dreams (or nightmares)

By : Jimmy Ripp

World peace has been achieved today join us when Donald Trump speaks on how he did but no one in history could ever do.

Former heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson opens woman sensitivity group all across the United States

Angelina Jolie holds the National Raffle to a lucky person that will have her hand in matrimony. So sign up get your entry  and watch on September 25th as Angelina Jolie will draw one name out of a drawing of millions to make her new husband or wife.

College student  Jimmy Ripp so witty, charming, handsome and funny that  F.L.C. professors all pass him with a 4.0 g.p.a. without him ever even stepping in a class.

former Secretary of State and Senator Hillary Clinton signs on to be the white house chief advisor to the Trump Administration.

I choose change

Id start with changing what I find wrong about myself.  Change has to start from within and before i could see fit to change anything about anything or anyone I'd have to truly be sure about  my own flaws and imperfections on myself or my opinions and values .I could not come to a decision abruptly on changing something about sacremento itself simply because who am I to decide something needs changed.

Assuming I had to pick something about Sacremento I would  want to make it a hometown for an NFL franchise. In a state capitol that has soccer minor league baseball NBA but there isn't much of a football presence here . There is plenty of sites that could easily work to build a stadium at and the revenue that an NFL team could generate could only help for sure.

The transgendered issue

Transgendered . The bathroom situation is just the tip of the iceberg of the real problem.

The bathroom thing isn't just a bunch of teenagers hitting puberty and trying to get a free pass for a cheap peek at the opposite sex by being put into their locker rooms and bathrooms. These are human beings with confusion and torn emotions not to mention the misunderstanding toward them and their self discovery. It's a bunch of crap that I can't stand hearing about . How can you purposely make anyone feel like they are a freak or a shameful person. Especially a child . There's nothing wrong with them except that they feel alone and shouldn't . Anyone who tried to belittle or hurt a person that is going thru so much should be forced to walk a mile in their shoes. Let's not forget some of these kids go thru so much they attempt or even succeed in suicide.  And for what ? Cause some hypocrite bigot narrow-minded ass who ain't shit themselves made these people who are transgender feel like they are not even human beings worth caring about . This is why I pray there is a God so that when the time comes people who have made other people suffer will face suffering themselves.

A short hair piece part 2

“What was that suppose to be?”

-A short hair piece-

By : Jimmy Ripp

       Multi neon colored track pants. If you don't know of the existing fat of yesteryear, Google it! Warning it's on a Google's top things you should never Google list.

     Follow the pants with a Jimmy Z shirt with cut-off sleeves and sporting a farmers tan. No ensemble  can be complete without the hair to match.

     Putting a visual in your mind without illustrating it is a difficult task. If you cut  a mullet length hair into somewhat of a mohawk. Then had it died bleach blonde. Now grow out 4 inch long bangs and then style it in somewhat of a surfing wave then the whole look becomes complete.

     At 14 years old, with a skateboard in hand, that's exactly what I went out the front door looking like on the first day of junior high school.

     Now how do you think the rest of the year went for me based on that?

A short hair piece part 1

“I thought we ate rice”

-A short hair piece-

By : Jimmy Ripp

       As all the children lined up to go into the nurse's office it was clearly a reason to worry for myself and my other two siblings.

     We had already been there once and have been discovered to have had head lice before. As my older brother whispered to my sister about us having lice without thinking and with no filter I yelled out I thought we ate rice how would it be in ourselves heads.

      So we were shipped off. Separated from all the other children and my mother had to come pick us up halfway through the day.

     Straight home we went and all three of us had to have our heads shaved bald. Great hairstyle to have an kids can be really cruel.  

     So rest assured I never heard the end of it and no one forgot about the day I had lice. I wanted to move away forever.

The metaphoric storm

Jimmy Ripp

The metaphor of my life

The storm

    The clouds above me are angry, dark and have so many bad intentions. As the thunder rolls out of them and the lightning strikes down, a persistent heavy rain fall ensues. The blistering cold whips across my body and face.

    Now soaked by the freezing rain drops I feel a ten times below freezing body temperature and begin to fight the hypothermia that is trying to overcome me. The storm I'm facing seems to only grow stronger and stronger attempting to break my will to whether it it out.

    I cannot see a break in the horrid wrath of Mother Nature. Hell I can barely manage 10 feet of visibility at all from the rainfall and unmeasurable winds. It is dark, it is scary and it seems very bleek that I will make it through this at all.

    However I will not allow this to cause me to give in for I know warmth and comforting sunny days are ahead. Sometime, somehow, someway. So I battle through the storm.

The metaphoric desert

Jimmy Ripp

The metaphor for my life

Walking through the desert

    I don't know how I ended up here. Nothing but cactus, desert sand and a blistering heat. I stare into the direction I'm heading and see nothing but desert wasteland and blurry distances caused by an uncaring sun.

     I am soaked with sweat I'm dying for just a little sip of anything cold to drink. I must be leary of rattlesnakes and other dangerous animals. I cannot wait for nightfall before continuing because the danger increases and the possibility arises of a just as equally life-threatening cold that can overcome my path.

    I am weak. I am tired. I want to give up and give in. I hurt all over. My thoughts are attempting to betray my goals of survival yet I will not stop till I have escaped this nightmare terrain and environment.

    This is what has become of my life. However I will not let go of my dream that a life in a euphoric Oasis exists.

Leap of lost faith

Leap of lost faith and hope

Jimmy Ripp

Engcw410

      Well that's it. I did it! I told them all I was gonna do it and I did and just like I thought they didn't care. I think it's fitting I chose my work building to jump off of. After all this is where all my misery that forced me into this decision began.

     Beginning with Miranda. That's what I get for screwing a temp. Sure didn't take her gold digging ass long to trap me with a pregnancy. Then cause of her bitch ass I lose out on my well deserved promotion. Of course when word got around that her and I were an item. They sugar-coat their bullshit of why my promotion went to someone else. Your needed by Miranda they say. She needs your support they say. Financially we raised your pay level and added her to your medical insurance free or charge. Don't you have an office at home they asked ! You can work from there! Blah blah blah ! Crap ! It's just there way of pushing me out and her way of controlling me in every way possible.  I'm glad this is the end. I wonder what heaven is like anyway. Or perhaps hell is where I'm going! Naw I already been there my whole life .

     Then that gold digger bitch starts in on me with all that “ I need you here helping me” soap opera gag me shit.  She didn't love me . Money money money that was all it ever was about to her. Well her and that unborn kid won't see a dime from my life insurance since I ended it this way. Hell if that kid is even mine at all.  Man that roof was really high . The ground hasn't seem to get any closer yet. Soon enough I will be rid of this world and this world will not be able to screw me over again !

     Why didn't anyone ever care about what I wanted ? What I needed?  The promotion i earned. The corner office that was suppose to be mine. Noooooo! Of course not.  I get to work from my home office. There will be other promotion opportunities they say. I'm falling face down I know I won't have an open casket funeral but what if you carry deformities into the afterlife. Maybe I should try to rotate so I land on my back and then I won't know when the moment of impact and death are upon me.  Perhaps that would be better cause I am feeling very afraid of what awaits me in the afterlife.

    I had every right to lose it.  Then after ten loyal years they send me packing ? The glass office wall was an accident. I got angry. What did they expect? Oh and what does that so called loving woman do when she found out I was fired? Abandoned ship of course.  Calling me a self centered jerk saying I act so distant and like such an asshole that someone should kick my ass! Damn right I slapped the shit out of her. Of course on came that victim role she had mastered. What does she do ? Leave of course. Just like everyone else did when times got rough for me.

      Boo hoo I never went to doctor appointments with her. I had to work to handle her caviar tastes and champagne desires with her Park Avenue attitude. Hell for all I know that may not have been my kid anyway. Wish I could have at least spoke to the kid one time so he would know who's fault it was that made me decide that ending it always best for me.

     Then what does my family do ? Forsake me to take her side too.  My own parents calling me a jackass saying I need to grow up or give up. Well now they got their wish. Everyone did. I'm falling to my death and they won't have to hear me complain about the injustices in my life no more.

       What did any of them do for me anyway. But as that ground gets closer I start to think what um….where err…... I mean…... I'm really scared, I don't, I'm not, I can't, I can't think.

      Oh god that ground is coming fast. I hope this doesn't hurt. I assumed I wouldn't feel anything. I keep having one overwhelming feeling after another. I knew this would feel right but it is completely wrong though. What if my job didn't want to lose me ? Dam. They did give me a raise.  Come to think of it working from home would have been far less stressful. No V.P.'s up my ass. Maybe they did care. Miranda maybe she did love me now that I see everything as it is. Perhaps this is normal second thought jitters or delusions. She never did lie, cheat or even really spend money on anything. Everytime I came home she did have the house spotless, food ready and always wanted to please me physically as well. Man. She was a solid ride or die woman. How could I have not seen it. My parents and friends did.  That is the reason for the tough love behavior then wasn't it?

      Oh my god. My parents they knew how good Miranda was for me and how the work from home deal was a real promotion actually.

      Miranda was having a lot of issues I recall now why didn't she ever complain about it to me? Oh god she was so selfless that she put me first !

      That raise my job gave me turned out to what would have been a 25% salary increase too .

       I'm not slowing down . The sidewalk below is getting closer. Oh god what have I done? I made a mistake. I didn't see what was in front of me and I do now.

      I changed my mind! God ! Please I made a mistake and I don't want to go now. Oh no! My family my Miranda ! My unborn son! I don't want to leave them …..GOD PLEASE! I NEED A SECOND CHANCE PLEAAAAAASSSE……….

Story called rightfully accused

Jimmy Ripp

Fiction story

Engcw400

Rightfully Accused

    The music blasted loudly, indistinct chatter going on with empty beer cans all over the place. Some people standing around, others dancing and even two guys and engaged in an arm wrestling contest in the front room. It was a living breathing cliche frat party cliche. Here at the University of Albany South State campus this was the elite of fraternities. This was Delta Phi Beta.

    

    “Hey G3 what's up Mr. Delta Phi Beta Prez?” Said a fraternity pledge name Floyd as he came down the stairs.

  “Show me that love my brother!” G3 responded as the two engaged in an elaborate secret fraternity handshake.

    G3 as he has been known as since his sophomore year is Foster Grandma 3rd. G3 is the fraternity president of Delta Phi Beta.

    After their pleasant secret handshake. G3 addressed the pledge in true hazing fashion.

  

   “Have the bathrooms been cleaned, the kitchens spotless and the floors mopped you maggot pledge?”

   “Yes sir Mr. President!”Floyd answered obediently. “Permission to speak openly sir?”

   “Of course you played scum what is it?” G3 replied.

   “Check it bruh, you remember that hot as freshman with the red hair and green eyes that was wondering around the Student Center like a lost puppy?” Floyd said excitedly.

    “Of course!” said G3 posturing as if he was God's Gift and the second coming.

    “Well time for you to get down with the get-down cuz upstairs, second door on the right that red-headed Fireball is inflamed and waiting on you dog!” Floyd stated as he pointed up the stairwell.

    “So she wants the G3 experience huh well if I must I must.” G3 said in the cocky tone as he ascended up the stairs.

    In almost like a predator stalking his prey type of walk G3 came to door number two where he was expecting an eagerly awaiting young freshman female desiring his company. As he stood in front of the door kicking away some empty beer cans and reaching for the knob he took a quick read of the sign on the door that said “ if you hear my bed rocking don't bother knocking and don't laugh it might be your sister” after a quick chuckle G3 opens door and enters the bedroom.

    The door sluggishly opens from all the dirty laundry on the floor behind it causing it to jam up. Clearly from the behavior of its members and their fearless leader this can be looked at is an ironic stick metaphor. On the unmade and recently used bed lay a very young sweet and innocent freshman coed. Only thing is the young and sweet were abandoned and replaced by the loose and easy and her innocence has been stolen. She was not smiling and not happy to see G3. She was not staring at him with passion or desire. She was not even conscious by all standards. Throw in being indecent and you have a woman who replaced the Alabama born and raised Catholic girl. She was only half dress and a half undressed and now she just lay there in a severe inebriated state of unconsciousness. She had no alertness at all. G3 smirked with a demon like facial expression and close the door behind him.

  “Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz.” Echoed through the now quiet frat house, down the halls and through the door it was an alarm set for 6 a.m. Clearly whoever it was set for was not going to be in any state to answer the call. A few crunches and a crash sound later and the alarm subsided.

    Derek Jean Lafitte was a senior going on to medical school then to the Peace Corps where he can become a doctor overseas to poverty and famine stricken areas that have no medical help. Derek held a 4.0 grade point average as well and volunteered at the homeless shelter once a month serving food to the hungry. Derek embodiedall that is saint-like and perfect in a human being with behavior and traits that mimic that of a guardian angel. He was pulling some items out of the fridge to make himself a good hot breakfast when he heard a loud smashing door open followed by curdling screams.

    As he left the kitchen to seek what was the problem. Hesaw a young lady running out the door similar to the one he met the day before in the student center who he had assisted with finding the right office for her financial aid information she needed. He also recalled a similar female acting sexually free and intoxicated and having the time of her life last night at the party.

   “What in the hell was that about ?” He yelled up the stairs to no answer. He went with his breakfast not nearly awake enough to process what he witnessed.

   (Part two coming soon)

Wind power and electricity

Jimmy Ripp

Wind , power and electricity

    The trees fold over are the clear sign of the power the wind is blowing thru the sky. The electricity in the clouds becomes evident from the multitude of lightning strikes. The grace mother nature has is paled in comparison to the wrath she can unleash.  The wind, the rain, the electricity, the power, they are forces that cannot be matched.

Review of yet another classmate story

Jimmy Ripp

Review of “secrets we keep”

“It's”

Remove “as”

After this sentence start a new paragraph

Too much space

See #3

End sentence and start a new one

See #4

Reword “this is where my uncle lived. He was a very progressive liberal feminist and considered one of Britain's first romantic painters.

Reword “He had taking us in but sadly died 3 years later.”

See #3

See #6

reword “My hostility I used as a shield to protect myself morphed me into someone I didn't recognize.”

See #3

no need to put this as a quote. I think keeping it in your own narration as a statement is much better.

Remove “but it with her” it just seems too confusing.

See #7

See #6

Bet = met

See #4

Confusing that you had a duel but no one was hurt.

Running = ruining

I never like the use of “but” to start a sentence.

Man = male

*1 - I think a bit more of a visual of The Bleak conditions of the environment would be good here I like the navigation around what a woman was life was like during this time. The story rings a bell to me some reason though.